What a relief – we can officially burn any lingering copies of the lithesome Jane Fonda’s torturous 80s workout videos. Wave a not-so-fond bye-bye to neat little buns of steel and say a generous hello to the bubble butt…Reports the iconic fashion magazine, Vogue, this is the Era of the Big Booty. Good news for those of us who’re well-rounded! For those who aren’t so lucky, though, here’s how you can up the ante on your posterior…
While Fonda’s fitness routines were focused on minimising what mama gave us, the current approach aims to maximise it. Yes, the genetic lottery does have a lot to do with the size and shape of our buttocks but, says Madonna’s fitness trainer Nicole Winhofer, it is possible to enhance nature’s bounty through the right exercises. Before you consider some of the more extreme booty enhancement methods, get going with these classic moves designed to lift and tone:
- Squats and lunges, with or without weights
- Ballet, in general, and pliés, in particular
- An old-fashioned aerobic step class
- Climb the Stairmaster at gym, or run up actual stairs
- Exercises on the medicine ball in Pilates class
- Hiking or power-walking – our butt muscles are quite literally made for it!
- Yoga poses, like bridge and plough rolls
- Equestrian sport (get the famous ‘rider’s bum’).
Do bear in mind that, for pert and firm buttocks, nothing beats regular exercise! Our buttocks comprise two major muscles – the gluteus maximus and gluteus medius. They’re the muscles that give us homo sapiens the ability to walk upright, and warrant regular training to maintain peak condition. Other procedures which can give your buttocks some extra lift, after you’ve embarked on a proper, regular exercise routine, include:
- Ultrasonic cavitation – using an ultrasonic non-invasive device, unsightly lumps and bumps can be reduced, producing smoother buttocks
- Superficial liposculpture – where a cosmetic surgeon contours superficial body fat with a small cannula to sculpt the buttocks into a more pleasing shape
- Buttock-enhancing underwear and pads – under clothes, looks great for that big date, but may produce an awkward Bridget Jones Knickers Dilemma…in the words of our heroine, tricky, very tricky.
The Kardashian sisters, Paris Hilton, Christina Aguilera and Nicky Minaj are amongst those rumoured to have had gluteoplasty, as it’s also known. Although it’s increasingly popular, bear in mind that it is a major surgery. Before leaping onto the operating table, carefully weigh up the risks and benefits and always consult a qualified and skilled cosmetic surgeon, who is experienced in carrying out these procedures. Remember:
- It’s no small matter to have any surgery
- Do consult a psychologist first to talk through any body issues you may have, to determine that this is indeed the right course of action for you, and that your expectations are realistic
- Your surgeon will assess you to determine whether you’re physically a good candidate for the procedure
- You will require follow-up consultations at one month, six months and one year intervals post-operation to monitor your body’s reaction to the surgery.
Briefly, the procedure itself involves one of two methods – gluteal implants and lipo-injection, sometimes called a Brazilian Butt Lift. In the former, prosthetic implants similar to those used for breast augmentation are implanted under the gluteus maximus muscles – one in each cheek. In the latter, adipose (fat) tissue is harvested from the tummy and/or thighs and injected into the gluteal region. Your surgeon will advise on which method is right for you. Expect to pay upwards of R15000 – as it’s usually an elective cosmetic procedure, butt augmentation is not covered by medical aid. Just like breast implants, butt implants have a lifespan of around ten years.
Sorry, what?! You heard, right…The rather crassly-termed butt facial is the latest spa trend. While it might seem totally ridic, think about what all that sitting around does to the sensitive gluteal skin…a-creasing and a-wrinkling, and all…! For R5000, your bottom can receive the spa treatment it deserves – exfoliation (and chemical peel, if necessary), massage and moisturisation for skin as smooth as the proverbial baby’s bottom. The added advantage, say spa technicians, is that a butt facial helps detox the gluteal area, helping alleviate horror conditions like butt acne and cellulite. And after all that primping and preening, your tush is ready for a #belfie…yes, that’s a buttock selfie…do you dare bare your derrière?